For my last final exam for my music history class, we had to write a two page paper over how music has changed our lives. Everyone was complaining because our teacher made it a whole TWO pages when we had almost two hours to complete it. The page limit didn't phase me one bit after my senior English exam that morning. It really got me thinking, so long in fact that I didn't start writing until thirty minutes into the final. I was in such a rush to write the two page minimum that I didn't get to proof my writing let alone make it a nice read. I honestly wish I could have somehow gotten back my paper just so that I could transform it into something worthwhile a read.
I decided to just rewrite it and hope I remember what I wrote.
In 2010 I went through a lot of things that I don't ever wish to repeat and that I still have a tough time talking about even to my closet friends. The beginning of 2011 wasn't that great either. I learned though towards the end of February that music was one of my best friends. Perhaps it was my new found interest in YouTube that helped me discover amazing musicians who now I can now say that their music helped me through the lowest of times in 2011, but I found that music was a way to express the emotions I was feeling and the thoughts I was thinking.
Music has allowed me to find comfort in in times of need to the point where I can always turn towards that one perfect song that can always make me feel better. I sometimes wonder if I have been relying too much on music, maybe I am but it helps.
Link of the day: Plants vs. Zombies Such an addicting game to play! I got so into it the other night that I was yelling at my laptop trying to get the zombies to go away.
days until Senior Year Part 2 begins: 7
days until I become an adult: 10
days until graduation: 142
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
update: moving status
Good news is good! My mom called me earlier about noon to tell me that the lady she spoke with yesterday at the new internet service called and said that they would be sending a crew out to the house this Thursday. I was relieved to hear this information because I was freaking out about school starting and not having any internet connection because I can almost grantee I'll have to use the internet for one of my assignments when we get back.
Cleaned some more out at the house for about three hours or so. Went to the post office (after nearly getting in a car wreck with some old lady on Main Street) and got change of address forms for my mom and I. Pretty uneventful day besides the errands and things.
Next on my to do list: take the Christmas tree down and clean out my car.
Cleaned some more out at the house for about three hours or so. Went to the post office (after nearly getting in a car wreck with some old lady on Main Street) and got change of address forms for my mom and I. Pretty uneventful day besides the errands and things.
Next on my to do list: take the Christmas tree down and clean out my car.
BEDD 27: revelations of the future
It seems like the questions: "What are you doing next year?" and "How did you decide on that, are you sure it's what you want to do?" are becoming more and more frequent as graduation draws closer and closer each day.
"What are you doing next year?" is usually answered with me grinning ear to ear and talking about my college of choice and their history program along with other awesome stuff from the college. It's the following question that normally gets me tied up though, the: "How did you decide on that?" To be honest, I'm not even sure.
There for a really long time I was bouncing back and forth between ideas of what I wanted to do after high school. All of them though did include going to college. First I couldn't decide on a college, then I couldn't decide on what I wanted to major in. And then back and forth. I couldn't decide on a college or a major let alone both. For a good solid year and a half I wanted to major in political science (polisci), and then I went to a meeting with the representatives from the college I'm (planning on) going to next year and those ideas started to slowly change.
SC didn't offer polisci as a major, and I was on the verge of dismissing it completely. It's a private college with tuition prices to match. For some reason, I couldn't get the idea of SC out of my head, the only major drawbacks at that time for me not wanting to go to SC were the tuition prices and not having my major.
As I continued through the semester, I began thinking about other routes I could take that could potentially make me end up in a similar area that I had orginially started thinking about, which at this point I can't even remember what that was but I think it had something to do with law school in the far off future. I had then confronted my parents telling them about SC and how I would major in history and minor in polisci instead. My parents were both really hesitant about even making an appointment to go down to the school for a visit let alone apply.
Since I stepped foot on the SC campus, I knew SC was the right pick for me, and once I started talking to the professors and students at SC, I started feeling more comfortable with my choice. It only took the one visit for my parents to fall in love with the school too. My mom is just as thrilled if not even more than I am to go to SC.
I don't know why, but the idea of studying history has grown on me so much over the last year; and I've learned a lot about myself too in the process. I'm just happy that I've found something that I enjoy and can still learn so much about and a school that fits just right with everything I could imagine.
They tell us in school when we talk with representatives from colleges and universities from across the state that we don't have to know 100% what we want to do with our lives before graduation, that the majority of people end up changing their majors in college; but I enjoy learning the mysteries behind what we are today. I honestly can't see myself not pursuing history, but then again, I'm trusting my gut and my heart to lead the way; I'm open to anything in life.
Link of the day: Entanglement Goodness, I've spent a lot of time playing this game for several days now. I find it so addicting to play while watching the evening news.
days until Senior Year Part 2 begins: 8
days until I become an adult: 11
days until graduation: 143
"What are you doing next year?" is usually answered with me grinning ear to ear and talking about my college of choice and their history program along with other awesome stuff from the college. It's the following question that normally gets me tied up though, the: "How did you decide on that?" To be honest, I'm not even sure.
There for a really long time I was bouncing back and forth between ideas of what I wanted to do after high school. All of them though did include going to college. First I couldn't decide on a college, then I couldn't decide on what I wanted to major in. And then back and forth. I couldn't decide on a college or a major let alone both. For a good solid year and a half I wanted to major in political science (polisci), and then I went to a meeting with the representatives from the college I'm (planning on) going to next year and those ideas started to slowly change.
SC didn't offer polisci as a major, and I was on the verge of dismissing it completely. It's a private college with tuition prices to match. For some reason, I couldn't get the idea of SC out of my head, the only major drawbacks at that time for me not wanting to go to SC were the tuition prices and not having my major.
As I continued through the semester, I began thinking about other routes I could take that could potentially make me end up in a similar area that I had orginially started thinking about, which at this point I can't even remember what that was but I think it had something to do with law school in the far off future. I had then confronted my parents telling them about SC and how I would major in history and minor in polisci instead. My parents were both really hesitant about even making an appointment to go down to the school for a visit let alone apply.
Since I stepped foot on the SC campus, I knew SC was the right pick for me, and once I started talking to the professors and students at SC, I started feeling more comfortable with my choice. It only took the one visit for my parents to fall in love with the school too. My mom is just as thrilled if not even more than I am to go to SC.
I don't know why, but the idea of studying history has grown on me so much over the last year; and I've learned a lot about myself too in the process. I'm just happy that I've found something that I enjoy and can still learn so much about and a school that fits just right with everything I could imagine.
They tell us in school when we talk with representatives from colleges and universities from across the state that we don't have to know 100% what we want to do with our lives before graduation, that the majority of people end up changing their majors in college; but I enjoy learning the mysteries behind what we are today. I honestly can't see myself not pursuing history, but then again, I'm trusting my gut and my heart to lead the way; I'm open to anything in life.
Link of the day: Entanglement Goodness, I've spent a lot of time playing this game for several days now. I find it so addicting to play while watching the evening news.
days until Senior Year Part 2 begins: 8
days until I become an adult: 11
days until graduation: 143
Monday, December 26, 2011
update: moving status
I started packing last night. I managed to pack all of my books up, all in one box, because my personal library isn't that big. I also got most of my desk stuff packed up too. And then, in a box all by itself, I have all of my Harry Potter things.
We, and by "we" I mean my mom, started making calls today about getting internet out at the house. When we moved out in May we cancelled our internet out there because my dad has absolutely no need for it, and the cable we have was a separate company. Well, we found a new provider that looks promising. Which is great and all, but they won't be out until January 5th, next Thursday, to install all the stuff and get us up and running. Bad news though, our Cox services are getting disconnected this Friday. So that's six days I won't have internet access; which is going to be a bit rough because I'm always online it seems, but I'll just play like we're camping. I'll read my books and do some writing before the new semester starts.
This all of course, is why I'm queuing up several blog posts since I was already planning the next couple of weeks out, I guess I'll just schedule posts.
Tomorrow I'm going out to the house and cleaning all day, which will be good because there's still a lot to do before we execute Operation Move Day 2. I'll be by myself for most of the day, since my dad has doctor appointments all day in Wichita; but that's just quality time with my dogs.
I'll be tweeting though, with or without internet via my phone.
We, and by "we" I mean my mom, started making calls today about getting internet out at the house. When we moved out in May we cancelled our internet out there because my dad has absolutely no need for it, and the cable we have was a separate company. Well, we found a new provider that looks promising. Which is great and all, but they won't be out until January 5th, next Thursday, to install all the stuff and get us up and running. Bad news though, our Cox services are getting disconnected this Friday. So that's six days I won't have internet access; which is going to be a bit rough because I'm always online it seems, but I'll just play like we're camping. I'll read my books and do some writing before the new semester starts.
This all of course, is why I'm queuing up several blog posts since I was already planning the next couple of weeks out, I guess I'll just schedule posts.
Tomorrow I'm going out to the house and cleaning all day, which will be good because there's still a lot to do before we execute Operation Move Day 2. I'll be by myself for most of the day, since my dad has doctor appointments all day in Wichita; but that's just quality time with my dogs.
I'll be tweeting though, with or without internet via my phone.
BEDD 26: favorite books of 2011
I used to be an avid reader when I was a child. My mom was always buying me books to read and we would spend a small portion every night reading together. I continued to read quite often all throughout grade school and middle school, but high school changed that. I'm sure it was the busy schedule of homework and rehearsals and all the other things I've done that made me put reading on the back burner to everything else. When I had my hip replaced in the months following during recovery I slowly picked up the habit of reading a little every night. Back in May when I joined GoodReads.com I made a goal to read twenty books before the end of the year; I've already completed that goal and I hadn't really even begun to think about my favorite books I've read until someone asked me on Tumblr.
"Because memories fall apart, too. And then you're left with noting, left not even with a ghost but with its shadow." - Looking for Alaska by John Green
Looking for Alaska by John Green wasn't what I expected it to be; I think the hype around it made me think about it differently than what I should have been thinking to begin with. To be honest, now months later, I can't remember what I had initially thought when I first started reading this novel. I enjoyed this book because in a way it talked me through a friendship gone wrong, one that happened two years ago that I'm still having trouble getting my brain around. I give mad props to John for his writing style, one that I'm actually a bit jealous of.
"There is a relationship between the mind and the body that can both create a physical condition and enable us to recover from it." - Nothing is Impossible: Reflections on a New Life by Christopher Reeve
I'm happy that I read this book when I did, because it was a time during recovery that I was feeling really down and didn't know what to do with myself. I had this feeling that I might never fully recover, or that I wouldn't be able to go on and do the things that I had been dreaming about all year, like travel the nation and go to Europe. Reading this book gave me something that my parents and my friends weren't able to give me; Christopher Reeve shared the reality he went through with such a massive change in his life, and though mine was no where near as great as his, the writing spoke to me and told me that things would be okay in the end, that if he could go on with life and do things he never would have thought he could do, then I can surely go on too. There just isn't enough praise for this book; I admit, I cried through a large part of reading it, but it was worth it.
"And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer." - The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
I honestly don't even know why I enjoy this book so much. I've read it twice this year, once for my junior English class and then again sometime after surgery. There's a way in the writing that makes this book a good read for me. I can also say that I enjoy the content of the book, though I haven't been able to actually closely examine it like I would like to. But that's alright, because I get to read it again for class this semester for my junior English credit that I missed last year due to surgery. I'm hoping that I can get something even more out of this book; I'm sure though that I'm still going to enjoy reading it once again.
Link of the day: 365 more days to go.
days until Senior Year Part 2 begins: 9
days until I become an adult: 12
days until graduation: 144
Sunday, December 25, 2011
BEDD 25: a very happy christmas
Hello there everyone! I hope that you've all been having a great holiday wherever in the world (or universe) you might be. Things have been good in my neck of the woods the last few days which doesn't make up for the lack of blogging... and thought I'd share a bit of what's been going on and what's going to happen in the next week or so.
My dad and I managed to do all of our Christmas shopping before Christmas Eve Day, which is when we normally do our shopping; we're procrastinators even when it comes to Christmas, which also explains where I get the procrastinating gene from...I only had to do one last minute thing on Thursday for my mom, which was a surprise, because I was actually shopping for myself with a gift card my great Aunt Dottie sent me and I just saw that one thing I just had to get my mom. Don't worry, I did get myself something too; but it didn't even matter to me, I wanted to spend some of it on my mom, she deserves it.
Thursday was my dad's birthday, but for some reason we didn't end up celebrating it until Friday, but it was good anyway, 'cause my best friend Alicia (whom I will start calling A from now on, because that's what I call her IRL) her mom's birthday is also on the same day, and Friday we had decided to go down to Winfield to see the Isle of Lights display of freaking awesome Christmas lights. It was great, the four of us in my mom's truck, A and I in the back huddled under a pile of blankets because we were freezing. It was like old times. We came back from Winfield and came home so my dad could open his gift and eat ice cream and cake. And then, somehow, we managed to sit around for the next couple of hours just talking and telling stories while we watched Jeff Dunham's Christmas special on TV. The fun didn't stop there folks, when I took A home, we drove around a few neighborhoods talking and looking at Christmas lights, I then started grading each home's effort and "ooooh pretty"ness. It was truly a fantastic evening.
The last few days we've been doing a lot of cleaning and things like that. We're moving back in with my dad this coming Saturday. Which, I mean, on our side of things it should be pretty easy to execute when the day comes; we're having professional movers come move our heavy things for us since we don't know what the weather will be like 100% until we actually start Operation Move Day 2, because we live in Kansas and you can never take a weather report 100%, but we've been doing some heavy duty cleaning out at the house. I normally don't care to clean, let alone heavy duty cleaning, but it's been kind of a stress reliever in a way. Or maybe that's just the motions of cleaning the walls that does that.
So yeah, we're moving on Saturday; kind of ready for it, I miss living out at the house. I miss my dogs and the privacy of not living above our neighbor. Plus: I miss the long drive from school back home, it gives me time to unwind a little before I face my family and have to start chores and things.
Christmas Eve: pretty relaxed, I stayed home and watched How I Met Your Mother. I managed to finally finish season one. I did however have to make a run to Dillions for green beans, scalloped potatoes and a gallon of milk for today. Made it to Dillions only to find out that they're either closed Christmas Eve or close really early on Christmas Eve. Me, of course, forgot my phone at home, so I ended up driving back to the apartment to tell my mom I'd have to go to Wal-Mart in the next town to get what we needed. AND that I was nearly out of gas; so I got to drive her truck, which has only happened one other time in the past year. The trip was fine, not too much traffic, Wal-Mart was packed with people containing no common sense or manners...and we won't talk about the driver who cut me off in his small car that the truck would have completely totaled because he was being stupid and getting in too big of a hurry. Sorry, I'm still upset about that incident.
Today has been really good. I didn't get much gift wise, but I could care less. I'm just happy to have my parents healthy and happy. They both enjoyed their gifts, and I swear, seeing my parents smile and freak out about their gifts as they unwrapped them was better than anything they've given me for Christmas in the past 16 years. The only thing that could have made today even better was having my brother home; but I'm happy he's safe at home in Texas with his wife and kids. Oh, did I mention the food was pretty good? 'cause it was.
Link of the Day: World's Largest Game of Ninja I was just thinking yesterday about things my friends and I have done over the years during high school. One of the things that I remembered was playing Ninja before the homecoming pep rally. And then I remembered this video from Vid Con 2011.
days until Christmas: 0! Happy Christmas!
days until Senior Year Part 2 begins: 10
days until I become an adult: 13
days until graduation: 145
My dad and I managed to do all of our Christmas shopping before Christmas Eve Day, which is when we normally do our shopping; we're procrastinators even when it comes to Christmas, which also explains where I get the procrastinating gene from...I only had to do one last minute thing on Thursday for my mom, which was a surprise, because I was actually shopping for myself with a gift card my great Aunt Dottie sent me and I just saw that one thing I just had to get my mom. Don't worry, I did get myself something too; but it didn't even matter to me, I wanted to spend some of it on my mom, she deserves it.
Thursday was my dad's birthday, but for some reason we didn't end up celebrating it until Friday, but it was good anyway, 'cause my best friend Alicia (whom I will start calling A from now on, because that's what I call her IRL) her mom's birthday is also on the same day, and Friday we had decided to go down to Winfield to see the Isle of Lights display of freaking awesome Christmas lights. It was great, the four of us in my mom's truck, A and I in the back huddled under a pile of blankets because we were freezing. It was like old times. We came back from Winfield and came home so my dad could open his gift and eat ice cream and cake. And then, somehow, we managed to sit around for the next couple of hours just talking and telling stories while we watched Jeff Dunham's Christmas special on TV. The fun didn't stop there folks, when I took A home, we drove around a few neighborhoods talking and looking at Christmas lights, I then started grading each home's effort and "ooooh pretty"ness. It was truly a fantastic evening.
The last few days we've been doing a lot of cleaning and things like that. We're moving back in with my dad this coming Saturday. Which, I mean, on our side of things it should be pretty easy to execute when the day comes; we're having professional movers come move our heavy things for us since we don't know what the weather will be like 100% until we actually start Operation Move Day 2, because we live in Kansas and you can never take a weather report 100%, but we've been doing some heavy duty cleaning out at the house. I normally don't care to clean, let alone heavy duty cleaning, but it's been kind of a stress reliever in a way. Or maybe that's just the motions of cleaning the walls that does that.
So yeah, we're moving on Saturday; kind of ready for it, I miss living out at the house. I miss my dogs and the privacy of not living above our neighbor. Plus: I miss the long drive from school back home, it gives me time to unwind a little before I face my family and have to start chores and things.
Christmas Eve: pretty relaxed, I stayed home and watched How I Met Your Mother. I managed to finally finish season one. I did however have to make a run to Dillions for green beans, scalloped potatoes and a gallon of milk for today. Made it to Dillions only to find out that they're either closed Christmas Eve or close really early on Christmas Eve. Me, of course, forgot my phone at home, so I ended up driving back to the apartment to tell my mom I'd have to go to Wal-Mart in the next town to get what we needed. AND that I was nearly out of gas; so I got to drive her truck, which has only happened one other time in the past year. The trip was fine, not too much traffic, Wal-Mart was packed with people containing no common sense or manners...and we won't talk about the driver who cut me off in his small car that the truck would have completely totaled because he was being stupid and getting in too big of a hurry. Sorry, I'm still upset about that incident.
Today has been really good. I didn't get much gift wise, but I could care less. I'm just happy to have my parents healthy and happy. They both enjoyed their gifts, and I swear, seeing my parents smile and freak out about their gifts as they unwrapped them was better than anything they've given me for Christmas in the past 16 years. The only thing that could have made today even better was having my brother home; but I'm happy he's safe at home in Texas with his wife and kids. Oh, did I mention the food was pretty good? 'cause it was.
Link of the Day: World's Largest Game of Ninja I was just thinking yesterday about things my friends and I have done over the years during high school. One of the things that I remembered was playing Ninja before the homecoming pep rally. And then I remembered this video from Vid Con 2011.
days until Christmas: 0! Happy Christmas!
days until Senior Year Part 2 begins: 10
days until I become an adult: 13
days until graduation: 145
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
BEDD 21: the secret book
I was actually quite excited to share another free write excessive I did a few weeks ago, but when I went through and looked for the document I had saved it in, I couldn't find it. I think I might have accidentally deleted it when I was cleaning out my documents on my laptop.
That's alright though, because what I'm about to tell you pertains in a way to free writing. Actually it doesn't, but it does have something to do with writing as you might have guessed from the title.
I'm writing a book.
I knew when NaNo ended last month that there was something I wanted to write about, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. It definitely wasn't the route I had taken for my NaNo novel, but on a different path. I actually didn't even figure out what path I wanted to go for this "secret book" until about ten minutes ago when I began to free write. My original plan for this "secret book" was pretty out there and a confusing concept that I had already been having some questions about whether or not I wanted to even attempt that level of writing yet or not.
I'm telling you all for you to know, because even though I want to keep this to myself for a while, I feel like I need to let someone know of what I'm doing. This book isn't just going to be for the fun of it, but to also help me learn about something I've always wanted to more about and to help educate others.
"Why are you telling us about it if you're going to keep it all a secret?" you might ask. Well, BECAUSE. I just am.
Link of the day: The Party Music III video by LiveLavaLive makes me laugh so hard I'm to the point of tears every time I watch it. Definitely a good one to watch if you're having a bad day, it'll at least put a smile on your face.
days until Christmas: 3
days until I become an adult: 17
days until graduation: 149
That's alright though, because what I'm about to tell you pertains in a way to free writing. Actually it doesn't, but it does have something to do with writing as you might have guessed from the title.
I'm writing a book.
I knew when NaNo ended last month that there was something I wanted to write about, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. It definitely wasn't the route I had taken for my NaNo novel, but on a different path. I actually didn't even figure out what path I wanted to go for this "secret book" until about ten minutes ago when I began to free write. My original plan for this "secret book" was pretty out there and a confusing concept that I had already been having some questions about whether or not I wanted to even attempt that level of writing yet or not.
I'm telling you all for you to know, because even though I want to keep this to myself for a while, I feel like I need to let someone know of what I'm doing. This book isn't just going to be for the fun of it, but to also help me learn about something I've always wanted to more about and to help educate others.
"Why are you telling us about it if you're going to keep it all a secret?" you might ask. Well, BECAUSE. I just am.
Link of the day: The Party Music III video by LiveLavaLive makes me laugh so hard I'm to the point of tears every time I watch it. Definitely a good one to watch if you're having a bad day, it'll at least put a smile on your face.
days until Christmas: 3
days until I become an adult: 17
days until graduation: 149
Monday, December 19, 2011
BEDD 19: where are the layers?
I would have never thought, a year ago, that I'd be making this type of blog post. It just blows my mind away in a way, mainly because it means that I'm growing up and stuff and things like that.
My senior English class (labeled English IV at our school) is pretty intense, by far my most difficult subjectwe're throwing maths out of the equation for now. It's taken a lot of work to keep up, and even now with how much I've missed this term, I'm still behind; but dear God, I never would have thought that I would have learned so much about literature in general. My teacher, Mrs. Perkins; SHE'S AWESOME.
Every time I read a book I can't help but think about things like motif, theme, symbolism and a bunch of other things that I've been working with for the last several months. It just goes to show that those things have been pounded into my brain left to stay for forever, or at least until May 19th, 2012. No I haven't been taking notes on the books I've been reading outside of class, but when I think about a book after I've finished it, all of it just appears in my brain.
The last couple of books that I've read, The Mermaid's Mirror by L.K. Madigan and Where I Want To Be by Adele Griffin haven't been up to par with my reading standards that I suddenly complied over the last few months. On the surface these two books are good in their own individual and unique ways, but when I look deeper for a layer or two into what the book was supposed to say, I came up pretty empty handed and a bit confused in the end.
I wonder if I'm just overlooking books too much, or if I'm just a crazy loon who reads a lot of books for fun and analyzes them for funsies. But then again, what if I was a lit major? Is that what lit majors do? Study books and analyze them?
I brought this up to my mom, how I wasn't finding many books that really interested me (also that I really don't care for series). She told me quite bluntly that I needed to make the jump into adult novels and read some of her favorite authors that I've often questioned her about. Which makes complete sense, since I often find that YA books are too simple for my reading tastes and don't have enough layers to them. I've started a couple of David Baldacci books in the past year, but never finished them, but I enjoyed them immensely because of the level of reading the material was.
I don't know what I'm trying to say; but it just goes to show that even after all these years, I still love to read.
Link of the day: Best Fishing Bloopers I found this last week when I was surfing StumbleUpon when I was ill with the flu. My dad was here at the apartment and we watched it together and laughed so hard we were crying. Definitely a bonding moment since we both love fishing. I'm sure though, even if you don't care for fishing you'd find this at least a small bit entertaining.
days until winter break: > 1
days until Christmas: 5
days until I become an adult: 19
days until graduation: 151
My senior English class (labeled English IV at our school) is pretty intense, by far my most difficult subject
Every time I read a book I can't help but think about things like motif, theme, symbolism and a bunch of other things that I've been working with for the last several months. It just goes to show that those things have been pounded into my brain left to stay for forever, or at least until May 19th, 2012. No I haven't been taking notes on the books I've been reading outside of class, but when I think about a book after I've finished it, all of it just appears in my brain.
The last couple of books that I've read, The Mermaid's Mirror by L.K. Madigan and Where I Want To Be by Adele Griffin haven't been up to par with my reading standards that I suddenly complied over the last few months. On the surface these two books are good in their own individual and unique ways, but when I look deeper for a layer or two into what the book was supposed to say, I came up pretty empty handed and a bit confused in the end.
I wonder if I'm just overlooking books too much, or if I'm just a crazy loon who reads a lot of books for fun and analyzes them for funsies. But then again, what if I was a lit major? Is that what lit majors do? Study books and analyze them?
I brought this up to my mom, how I wasn't finding many books that really interested me (also that I really don't care for series). She told me quite bluntly that I needed to make the jump into adult novels and read some of her favorite authors that I've often questioned her about. Which makes complete sense, since I often find that YA books are too simple for my reading tastes and don't have enough layers to them. I've started a couple of David Baldacci books in the past year, but never finished them, but I enjoyed them immensely because of the level of reading the material was.
I don't know what I'm trying to say; but it just goes to show that even after all these years, I still love to read.
Link of the day: Best Fishing Bloopers I found this last week when I was surfing StumbleUpon when I was ill with the flu. My dad was here at the apartment and we watched it together and laughed so hard we were crying. Definitely a bonding moment since we both love fishing. I'm sure though, even if you don't care for fishing you'd find this at least a small bit entertaining.
days until winter break: > 1
days until Christmas: 5
days until I become an adult: 19
days until graduation: 151
Thursday, December 15, 2011
BEDD 15: emotional wreck
You know, I feel like bawling right now. It's not because I had a bad day at school. Not because of arthritis pain or any of that. But because my brother is hurting in a way that I've never seen him hurt, and it tears me to pieces because I can't do a single thing about it, let alone actually be there in person to give him a hug and tell him things will get better.
My brother and I are fifteen years apart, so it's been difficult at times in the past to connect with each other because of our age differences. I think the only thing that we can connect on that doesn't require age is hunting and fishing, because it involves two of our favorite things, guns and fish.
Over the years I haven't seen too much of my brother Bill, who I call Bubby. Fifteen when I was born, he went off to the United States Marine Corps boot camp right after he graduated in 1997. He had been stationed in Okinawa for several years after he finished boot camp. And then when the bombing of the Twin Towers happened, he had just coincidentally been state side during the events, not too long after that happened he was deployed to Kuwait where he eventually ended up in Iraq.
Here's the thing about Marines, they can appear emotionless and hard faced whenever they want. Trained to focus and not let anything bother them in their path to completing their objective. In all the moments that I've been with my brother, he's never appeared to be upset. I have learned to read his face and know when he's angry or annoyed and when he's happy. But today, today just makes me hurt too.
My mom got a message from my brother, about a good friend of his, Mr. Ken. He worked with Mr. Ken since he had gotten out of the Marines back in 2004 and went to work at an oil refinery as a rigger. Mr. Ken along with another man called Bomber, were like his older brothers he never had. Mr. Ken and bomber helped my brother when he started working at the refinery. Mr. Ken taught my brother so much about the line of work he's in that he's just amazed a man could know and care so much.
What has me upset about my brother, is this. He found out that Mr. Ken had passed away. That in itself is upsetting to hear about, but what I hadn't realized until my mom told me what Bubby said, was that Mr. Ken was only a year younger than our dad. So that has Bubby and I both thinking.
It just tears me apart knowing that my brother is taking this news so hard, especially since it's the holiday season, and I can't be there to offer comfort. All I want to do is get in my car and drive non-stop to Texas and give him a hug. I've been thinking all evening about my brother and Bomber, and Mr. Ken's family. I just want them to have some comfort right now and get through this.
I know this was a bit of a downer for a blog post as I slowly make my return back to blogging, but I've never felt this far away from my brother before. Even when I was younger and he was in Iraq. But I can't even compare those two because I was younger and didn't understand.
Do me a favor? Tell your friends and family you love them; life is just too short.
Link of the day: SolarBeat is indescribable. It combines music with our solar system and is just completely beautiful.
days until winter break: 6
days until Christmas: 10
days until I become an adult: 23
days until graduation: 155
My brother and I are fifteen years apart, so it's been difficult at times in the past to connect with each other because of our age differences. I think the only thing that we can connect on that doesn't require age is hunting and fishing, because it involves two of our favorite things, guns and fish.
Over the years I haven't seen too much of my brother Bill, who I call Bubby. Fifteen when I was born, he went off to the United States Marine Corps boot camp right after he graduated in 1997. He had been stationed in Okinawa for several years after he finished boot camp. And then when the bombing of the Twin Towers happened, he had just coincidentally been state side during the events, not too long after that happened he was deployed to Kuwait where he eventually ended up in Iraq.
Here's the thing about Marines, they can appear emotionless and hard faced whenever they want. Trained to focus and not let anything bother them in their path to completing their objective. In all the moments that I've been with my brother, he's never appeared to be upset. I have learned to read his face and know when he's angry or annoyed and when he's happy. But today, today just makes me hurt too.
My mom got a message from my brother, about a good friend of his, Mr. Ken. He worked with Mr. Ken since he had gotten out of the Marines back in 2004 and went to work at an oil refinery as a rigger. Mr. Ken along with another man called Bomber, were like his older brothers he never had. Mr. Ken and bomber helped my brother when he started working at the refinery. Mr. Ken taught my brother so much about the line of work he's in that he's just amazed a man could know and care so much.
What has me upset about my brother, is this. He found out that Mr. Ken had passed away. That in itself is upsetting to hear about, but what I hadn't realized until my mom told me what Bubby said, was that Mr. Ken was only a year younger than our dad. So that has Bubby and I both thinking.
It just tears me apart knowing that my brother is taking this news so hard, especially since it's the holiday season, and I can't be there to offer comfort. All I want to do is get in my car and drive non-stop to Texas and give him a hug. I've been thinking all evening about my brother and Bomber, and Mr. Ken's family. I just want them to have some comfort right now and get through this.
I know this was a bit of a downer for a blog post as I slowly make my return back to blogging, but I've never felt this far away from my brother before. Even when I was younger and he was in Iraq. But I can't even compare those two because I was younger and didn't understand.
Do me a favor? Tell your friends and family you love them; life is just too short.
Link of the day: SolarBeat is indescribable. It combines music with our solar system and is just completely beautiful.
days until winter break: 6
days until Christmas: 10
days until I become an adult: 23
days until graduation: 155
Monday, December 12, 2011
BEDD 12: not the time
Today's blog comes in many parts.
PART 1
The lack of blogging the past week has been due to the fact that my mom, dad and I all ended up getting really ill with the flu. It was so bad. I can't even begin to tell you, in fact, I'm not ever going there because I want to spare you from the horribleness. I can't remember the last time I was this ill where I couldn't do much of anything just because my entire body just ached.
PART 2
And of course, I had to fall really ill at the middle of a semi-important week that lead up to the ACT on Saturday, of which I did not attend because I knew I wouldn't be able to focus or not get sick for four. Also, thought I was in the clear to go back to school today because I was feeling a lot better yesterday afternoon, GUESS NOT. And that's all we'll say on that matter.
PART 3
I'll still complete BEDD, but not with the structure I've outlined myself, because this month I actually have a lot on my mind that I want to blog about specifically. I will however keep Wednesdays and Sundays the same, I kind of like those days.
PART 4
Also, this is irrelevant to everything else that I've mentioned, but for my (really lousy) goal that I set for myself this year on GoodReads, I'm two books away. I finished the book I had been reading today, because of the whole still being ill and not ready to go back to school thing. I was holding off on re-reading the Harry Potter series until the New Year, but I decided I'd go ahead and read the first two to finish off my goal, plus things have been rough lately (not just being ill) and I've always reverted back to reading the Harry Potter books when I get in a major funk, they always seem to help.
PART 5
Also irrelevant, I still haven't even started Christmas shopping yet.
Link of the day: Christmas Doodles just made me smile quite a lot and just uplifted my day. Plus it got me back into the holiday spirit.
days until winter break: 9
days until I become an adult: 26
days until graduation: 158
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