I didn't realize until a few months ago that I can have bad cases of anxiety. Most often I'm stuck laying in bed at night unable to think because of my anxiety. The solution I found, is something that I used to do a lot and I think is the main reason why I never completely realized I had so much anxiety at night: reading.
When I was in the first grade we had these reading assignments where we picked a book that wasn't very long maybe twenty pages at most. The books varied on difficulty depending on the vocabulary used. We would be sent home with the book and a reading card for the week that our parents had to sign every day when we read with them. My mom, who has always been a very avid book reader for as long as I can remember would always help me read my assignments before bed.
Ever since then I would usually read before bed. I can even recall one snow storm that had knocked out our power for a few days. I was scared as a little kid but I remember sitting in the living room with candle on the coffee table as I read my library book. I escaped from the fear of not having any power.
In middle school and high school I was known to always have at least one book with me. Honestly, I was like that even in grade school. I often got in trouble for reading when I was supposed to be working on assignments.
I've always loved books, so naturally I've been used to reading at bedtime. When I went off to college I hadn't expected that I would be too tired at the end of the day to read myself asleep, but still I would lay there and my anxiety would take over.
At the beginning of January I made a conscious promise to myself that I would pick up reading again. I've still continued reading, but not like I used to in high school.
Now, I'm working on multiple books within a week and on some nights I've read myself asleep. For me, reading is a hobby of sorts and a way to cope with my anxiety.
B.E.D.A. Day 9: Completed
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