BEDA 30: debate

The other day I kind of mentioned something about making a decision of sorts, and I basically just left it at that, a cryptic and sort of worthless statement that explained nothing.  It has to do with debate, and it was actually a really big decision I made, and I couldn't have done it without the strong support of my mom.

I dropped debate.

In other words, I'm saying I quit debate.  Saying I "dropped" it (referring mainly to dropping the class) is the cowardly way of admitting that I did in fact quit debate.

WHY YOU QUIT?!

Gah, so many people have asked that. I genuinely love debate, but this season is/was different.  I think the largest part of it is that it is senior year and I have a lot of things riding on these two semesters, I can't afford to muck up.  And considering when I finally made the decision during the summer that I wasn't going to debate at a collegiate level, things went bad.

It wasn't that I wasn't applying myself and not working hard, because I was doing both.  Between things already getting in the way with school and the fact that my partner wasn't in the debate class with me, it made working, or attempting to work on case extremely difficult.  I was stressing out way too much.  There was three days last week when I came home crying because of the situation.

Up until today, I haven't said much about dropping debate.  I switched from debate to music history eighth hour on Friday, and no one really noticed until today.  Sure the other advanced debaters are slightly upset that they lost someone from the team, but I know that at least one person for sure doesn't blame me considering the amount of extra hard work I have to do this fall during the show to work on that theatre activity scholarship.

So there you have it. You know about my decision now, and to be truthfully honest, since Friday I've been so much happier. I've started throwing about debate papers I sure as hell don't need, and deleting stuff off my laptop.  In general, I'm a lot happier.

days until the fall musical: 47
days until I become an adult: 129
days until graduation: 263
steps taken today: 1,998+ I really didn't do much walking today. WEIRD.

BEDA 4: eleven days to go

There's eleven days left until school starts, and it's really starting to sink in.  Between going to enroll today at school and actually getting my time table that looks okay for the most part and organizing my school supplies in accordance to said time table, it has definitely started to hit me that school is starting again.  Whether or not I fully comprehend that it's senior year, I'm not for sure. I'm sure I'll still forget that I'm a senior through most of the school year, I mean, I still feel like a freshman half the time though I have absolutely no idea...

At the beginning of every school year I get crazy organized. Everything has it's place and it's use and that's that.  Two weeks into school it eventually goes from "neatly organized" to "messy, chaotic organized" which usually involves my locker and school bag to be a total mess. I'm hoping this year though I'll actually keep to an organizational system since I'm taking several classes that I can't afford to muck up in or I just won't graduate, and that's something I want to avoid doing at all costs.

I decided this morning what to do about my big girl decision regarding my history and forensics classes.  I decided that since I can work on and still be apart of the forensics team from outside of the class I decided to give it up for my history course.  I did this mostly because I know I won't be able to keep up with a full school day and have that extra class to worry about.

Eleven days till school starts also means that I need to figure out if my alarms will actually work well enough to get me up on time or not.  I've been having a hard time getting my normal alarm clock to work and on top of that, my phone alarm won't work when I need it. It's been really frustrating me since I've been attempting to get up at six every morning like I'll have to do when school starts.

I feel like there's several more things to do before these eleven days are up, but there really isn't.  All I really need to do is get some stuff sorted out for the fall musical so I won't have to worry about it once school starts, but that's a whole other story considering the flash drive I swore it was located on is no where to be found after I went every single folder on that damn thing.  I worked really hard on that thing, and I'll be completely honest in saying that if I don't find it, I'm not going to bother. Although, eventually I will redo the entire thing just for the purpose of I always have to be organized when it comes to costume and make-up designing...


Well, there you go, another random blog post that was basically just me babbling on about school.