what's on my mind: MDT

I was going to blog about what's been on my mind for the last day and a half...or week and a half...but I ended up vlogging it earlier today when I was driving home from school. So instead of writing out what I said and correcting my grammar, I'll just share with you my ramblings of this afternoon.

Link of the Day: fyeahthespianpeacocks If I wasn't so lazy, I'd probably end up reblogging every single post.

days until MDT: 1
days until Valentine's Day: 11
days until graduation: 105

BEDD 28: how music has changed things

For my last final exam for my music history class, we had to write a two page paper over how music has changed our lives.  Everyone was complaining because our teacher made it a whole TWO pages when we had almost two hours to complete it.  The page limit didn't phase me one bit after my senior English exam that morning. It really got me thinking, so long in fact that I didn't start writing until thirty minutes into the final.  I was in such a rush to write the two page minimum that I didn't get to proof my writing let alone make it a nice read.  I honestly wish I could have somehow gotten back my paper just so that I could transform it into something worthwhile a read.

I decided to just rewrite it and hope I remember what I wrote.

In 2010 I went through a lot of things that I don't ever wish to repeat and that I still have a tough time talking about even to my closet friends.  The beginning of 2011 wasn't that great either.  I learned though towards the end of February that music was one of my best friends.  Perhaps it was my new found interest in YouTube that helped me discover amazing musicians who now I can now say that their music helped me through the lowest of times in 2011, but I found that music was a way to express the emotions I was feeling and the thoughts I was thinking.

Music has allowed me to find comfort in in times of need to the point where I can always turn towards that one perfect song that can always make me feel better.  I  sometimes wonder if I have been relying too much on music, maybe I am but it helps.

Link of the day: Plants vs. Zombies Such an addicting game to play! I got so into it the other night that I was yelling at my laptop trying to get the zombies to go away.

days until Senior Year Part 2 begins: 7
days until I become an adult: 10
days until graduation: 142

BEDD 12: not the time

Today's blog comes in many parts.

PART 1

The lack of blogging the past week has been due to the fact that my mom, dad and I all ended up getting really ill with the flu. It was so bad. I can't even begin to tell you, in fact, I'm not ever going there because I want to spare you from the horribleness.  I can't remember the last time I was this ill where I couldn't do much of anything just because my entire body just ached.

PART 2

And of course, I had to fall really ill at the middle of a semi-important week that lead up to the ACT on Saturday, of which I did not attend because I knew I wouldn't be able to focus or not get sick for four.  Also, thought I was in the clear to go back to school today because I was feeling a lot better yesterday afternoon, GUESS NOT. And that's all we'll say on that matter.

PART 3

I'll still complete BEDD, but not with the structure I've outlined myself, because this month I actually have a lot on my mind that I want to blog about specifically.  I will however keep Wednesdays and Sundays the same, I kind of like those days.

PART 4

Also, this is irrelevant to everything else that I've mentioned, but for my (really lousy) goal that I set for myself this year on GoodReads, I'm two books away.  I finished the book I had been reading today, because of the whole still being ill and not ready to go back to school thing.  I was holding off on re-reading the Harry Potter series until the New Year, but I decided I'd go ahead and read the first two to finish off my goal, plus things have been rough lately (not just being ill) and I've always reverted back to reading the Harry Potter books when I get in a major funk, they always seem to help.

PART 5

Also irrelevant, I still haven't even started Christmas shopping yet.

Link of the day: Christmas Doodles just made me smile quite a lot and just uplifted my day. Plus it got me back into the holiday spirit.

days until winter break: 9

days until I become an adult: 26

days until graduation: 158

blog action day 2011: FOOD

Today is Blog Action Day 2011 (you can follow the blogging action by following the hash tag #BAD11 on Twitter), and this year the topic is food, since it is World Food Day.  At first I wasn't for sure what to talk about, I didn't want to just write whatever my brain told my fingers to type out, I wanted this to have a meaning to it.

I started thinking about to things I've done in the last few years that involved food.  I've helped with numerous dinners where we fed at one sit down was over a 150 people.  I had also helped do sandwich Saturday a few months ago when we put together small lunch sacks consisting of a dry bologna and cheese sandwich, a banana, a water and cookie to hand out to the homeless of Wichita.  And then, I finally remembered Kids Against Hunger.

The mission for Kids Against Hunger is pretty self explanatory on their website: "The mission of Kids Against Hunger, a humanitarian food-aid organization, is to significantly reduce the number of hungry children in the USA and to feed the starving children throughout the world."  It doesn't seem like much of a life changing experience to help KAH, but until you've been able to help pack the food you have no idea what the feeling is like.

A few years ago, when I first started attending church on a regular basis with a close family that I had been around for quite a while, our church was hosting a KAH packing day.  The food packets that you pack at KAH mainly have rice and seasonings in it but also holds a lot of proteins and vitamins that a lot of kids don't get.  On a KAH packing day, you get to experience every part of packing.  There's a station where each person gets a specific part of the food pack to put into the package; from there the packs are weighed to a specific weight so the boxes being shipped out are all within the same weight range; after weighing, they're sealed shut and passed on to get tightly packed into boxes and finally get taped up and set into the truck.

Going into that day, I had absolutely no idea what to expect, I had never heard of KAH and from the sounds of some of the people in the congregation it seemed like not very many of us knew what we were doing.

I have to admit though, through the experience I not only learned a lot about the hunger of kids in our own nation, but worldwide, but it changed my perspective of things.  I knew that there were kids my age around the world and even kids as close as in my own state; I hadn't the slightest clue of truly how bad it was.  If out of anything, I came out of that experience appreciating the fact that I knew I would be coming home from school to a snack and then dinner.  That I would wake up and have food for breakfast.  And even going to school with the thought of I would have a lunch.  I had taken all of these for granted.

Food is one of those necessities in life that I think a lot of people underestimate.  We complain about not liking certain vegetables or types of food, but we have the awesome opportunity to have food and we complain about it when there are thousands of people, mostly including children that would be so incredibly happy if they got a portion of food, they don't complain about what they get, they're thankful for what they do get.

Admittedly, I have tried the food packs that KAH make and send out to children around the world a few times.  And I didn't particularly like it, but I had to remind myself, I'm used to the luxury of foods that I enjoy.

For more information on KAH or how to help, just visit their website.
I also urge you to check out Blog Action Day and spread the word, it's still not too late to participate this year!
Also, if you want more stuff on World Food Day, check out YouTube's blog post.

10DYC: seven wants

Preface: as per normal, these are in no specific order.

1. Spend Time With Family

Our family is actually quite large if you count all of the cousins, and there are a lot of the great uncles and aunts who are getting into their older years, and I really want to spend time with them all because as I've learned a couple of years ago, you may never see them again and tell them how much you love and appreciate them.

2. Good Health

I want to continue to be healthy, hip replacement aside, I'm pretty healthy; and I hope that continues so I can continue to live life to it's fullest.

3.  To Travel The World

There are so many places I want to travel to that it'd just be easier to say I want to travel the world, which is actually quite accurate in many senses.  Some specific places include but are not limited to: London, Zambia, Moscow, Copenhagen, Greece, Scotland, Germany and Hawaii.

4. Make Something Of My YouTube Channel

As of now, my YouTube channel has no uploaded videos on it. I'm wanting to get some content up within the next year because as internet based as I can be at times, I think I could really enjoy YouTube from a vlogging standpoint and not just be a "watcher".

5. Laugh Often And Be Happy In General

I want to be in general happy with myself and life; and to laugh often because it usually leads to me being happy.

6. Go Fishing Whenever

Practicallity of this one? Hardly. But seeing as fishing keeps me calm, I'd love to go fishing whenever I wanted/needed to.

7. Acquire PhD In History

This has definitely been a goal for about a year now, I love history so much that I can see myself devoting most of my life to research.  Among all things that come with a doctorate in history, I just want to be able to express the importance of history to younger generations so they can appreciate life more.

Today is awesome because: it's been raining most of the day, and it's basically been raining for three days now. I'm in such a good mood right now, mostly to do with the weather status.

days until ACT: 33

days until the fall musical: 57

days until I become an adult: 111

days until graduation: 242

10DYC: nine loves

Preface: these are in no specific order.

1. family: I have absolutely no idea what I would do without my family, and by family I mean my parents, brother, and all extended family including the uncountable cousins and aunts and uncles.

2. fishing: my biggest stress reliever and an activity/hobby that I really enjoy.

3. books: they offer so much but yet so many people don't give books and reading enough credit.

4. writing: I've never really been into keeping a steady writing project going, with the exception of BEDA which surprised me, but there's something about writing in general that makes me calm.

5. nature: If I hadn't gotten so adjusted to living with so much technology I would love to live in a basic house structure out in the country and just take in everything that nature has to offer.  It's so beautiful but yet it gets such harsh treatment.

6. traveling: I haven't been to too many places, but then when I stop and think about the opportunities I've had and really consider myself lucky.  I've been all over my home state of Kansas (which I love so dearly) and several of the states in the mid-west, plus several parts of California.  There's something about traveling and seeing new places that really makes life interesting and fun.

7. Harry Potter: as nerdy as this is, it is indeed on my list.  Having grown up with the Harry Potter series for the majority of my life, the series has helped me through so many things.

8.  Theatre: there's something about being apart of a show that I really enjoy. I love seeing everyone's hard work be put together and show cased on show nights. Some of my most memorable experiences are from my work in theatre.

9. YouTube: there's just so much to YouTube that makes it awesome, and so lovable.  I specifically love how different everyone is and how much inspiration is spread around.

Today was awesome because: my dad took Marcella and I fishing.

days until the fall musical: 42

days until I become an adult: 124

days until graduation: 257

BEDA 22: background noise, but not really

I've noticed recently, that I work and generally tend to focus better if I have a background noise or something else to work on. For example, during the lecture today in my civics class, I retained more from the latter half of the lecture when I started doodling on my paper. I don't know why this is, but it just is.  I was watching Doctor Who not too long ago as I was finishing up my civics assignment.

Whether it's having my headphones on and playing music softly so that I can still hear it, but it's not my main focus, or if I just have something running on my laptop like a Youtube video or something streaming for Netflix, it always seems to help me get my work done, and I generally can retain more it seems.

In other news, it rained today, like when I got up this morning. It was nice, especially considering this is twice this month that when it rained my joints hadn't hurt before hand. Which is also kind of weird, because I like knowing when it's going to rain.  Also, a plus, I managed to incorporate Doctor Who into my English assignment over heroes today, I felt pretty freaking awesome.

Today was awesome because: I finally received my hard copy of Still Got Legs in the mail from DFTBA Records. I've listened to it several times in my stereo in my room, it just sounds so much better in the big speakers than my crappy laptop ones.

days until the fall musical: 55
days until I become an adult: 137
days until graduation: 271
steps taken today: 2,488+

BEDA 16: random stuff

Honestly, I'm surprised I'm still awake and able to blog tonight. Though I got off a bit easier, seeing as I just answered a bunch of questions tonight. But regardless, they made me think and after the English homework I had to do when I got home from school, it was a tough task.  Today went pretty well, besides the fact that the office ladies gave me the wrong locker combination so I couldn't get in my locker at all today.  But it was alright, I found our head custodian, John, and we figured it all out. He was really super nice about it though I know he was probably at his wit's end with all the students he had to put up with today asking him to fix their lockers.  Even the homework wasn't too terribly bad, it just made me think a lot, though I think I made it more difficult than it was supposed to be, something I'm pretty good at doing it seems.

Anyway, I did the 15 Weird Questions Tag that Luke and Ingrid did yesterday for their VALA and Volgust videos. I decided it seemed like something interesting enough to do, so yeah. I kind of got lazy towards the end and didn't write much. Forgive me? It was a long day.

#1. What's a nickname only your family calls you?

Baby Red, or just red.  On my dad’s mother’s side of the family, a lot of the cousins all have red hair.  And we’ve all got a special nickname within the family that ends in Red.

#2. What's a weird habit of yours?

I almost always have to fall asleep on my right side. I don’t know why I do this, but ever since I had my first hip surgery, I’ve always fallen asleep on my right side.  It was a pain in the butt after my hip replacement when I couldn’t lie on my side.

#3. Do you have any weird phobias?

I fear being in water that I can’t touch the bottom of with my feet and still have my head above water. I explained some of this in an earlier post when I talked about how I think once I learn to swim that phobia/fear will go away.

#4. What's a song you secretly love to blast & belt out when you're alone?

I don’t secretly blast any song in particular, I always have music on, but I think if I had to choose it’d be Snape vs. Snape by Ministry of Magic or I’ve Got Nothing by Chartjackers

#5. What's one of your biggest pet peeves?

When people don’t use their turn signals when driving.  There’s a reason why cars have them.

#6. What's one of your nervous habits?

I just now realized this one, because I never really could think of anything I did when I’m nervous, but I chew on the inside of my bottom lip or the inside of my cheeks.

#7. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

I sleep in a twin, so I take up the entire thing. And when I used to sleep in my full bed I sprawled out across it.

#8. What was your first stuffed animal & it's name?

I don’t remember my first stuffed animal, mostly because they were from my early childhood. But the one I remember and still have to this day is a Ty Beanie Baby bear that’s multi-colored.  Her name is Mellow, and she’s been through every single surgery I’ve had done on my hip.

#9. What's the drink you always order at starbucks?

Cold coffee. In general, cold coffee. That’s the only way I’ll drink coffee.

#10. What's the beauty rule you preach, but never actually practice?

I always tell my friends who ask me how I keep my face from breaking out to wash their face twice a day, once in the morning and then again at night before bed…but I usually don’t wash my face twice a day.  Though, recently I have been getting better at it.

#11. Which way do you face in the shower?

I think I usually tend to face away from the shower heard, so the water is on my back.  Never really thought about it before now.

#12. Do you have any weird body 'skills?

None that I can think of…

#13. What's your favorite comfort food thats 'bad' but you love to eat it anyways?

I eat a lot of random food, but I don’t really have a comfort food.  Though I guess I should probably admit that if my mom bakes anything, I definitely have a feast. She makes the best cakes.

#14. What's a phrase or exclamation you always say?

I don’t think I have a phrase I say often, I say a lot of completely random nonsense all the time.  But my most recent one seems to be NO, 42, LEFT in response to almost anything. Just don’t ask why.

#15. Time to sleep!! What are you actually wearing?

T-shirt and an old pair of shorts. If it’s really cold I’ll wear a hoodie.

So yeah, nothing to extravagant or anything.  I tag all of you, to do this at some point, or not. Link us in the comments if you do decide to do it.

Today was awesome because:  For the first full day back at school since January, I have absolutely no pain whatsoever in my joints, and you have no idea how happy that makes me, I'm so emotional over it. Also, there's a sophomore in my Earth Space Science class that's a Whovian, and from the sounds of it, she's a pretty big fan, so I've got a feeling we'll be getting along quite well in that class.

days until senior year starts: 0 *dances* the first day was pretty freaking awesome

days until the fall musical: 61

days until I bcome an adult: 143

days until graduation: 276

steps taken today: 7867+

BEDA 9: mainstream music

Nine times out of ten, if you're with me when I'm in my car I have my i-pod plugged into my stereo.  I've come to a conclusion this summer that I seriously have an issue with mainstream music.  I've been thinking about my dislikes for main stream music for a few months now, but it has become extremely evident this summer, especially the last couple of weeks.

My biggest problem with mainstream music is pretty simple.  Repeating the same twenty songs over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over get my drift? again.  I don't know if it's just the local stations around here that do it or if it happens every where else, but it really gets on my nerves.  I don't know how many times in the last two weeks I've heard Super Bass by Nicki Minaj and though I kind of like the song, I really don't care to listen to it thirty times in one day.

I feel like main stream music is just the same artists all. the. time. Most of my music comes from artists that I've found of YouTube. And I have to admit, that on a whole, YouTuber artists are by far a lot better than the artists I've been hearing on the radio around here.  I think another part of why I like YouTuber artists more is the fact that you can tell that music is truly their passion and that they care for their fans.  Yeah it's probably rough being a YouTuber artist some times, but they have the passion for what they do that keeps them going, and that in itself is really inspiring.  If you can continue to do something you love even when you're not the richest person around or have everything in the entire world and still feel such much emotion about you do, you're a genuine artist. 

Now with this being said, I'm not hating on all the popular artists out there who we can hear any time on the radio.  They all bring something to the world of music, but sometimes I can't help but think "They're in it only for the money and fame."  I mean, it's just how I think about it.  Does anyone else share the same feelings, or other thoughts? I'd love to hear them.

days until graduation: 283

hatin' on trollz

Let's talk about something that really really really REALLY irritates me. Something that irritates me so much I wanna just bang my head against a desk all day and scream pointless things; I mean really irritates me.

TROLLZ

That's right, I wanna talk about trollz, (though normally spelled: trolls).  Now, if you don't know what a troll is, then you don't spend tons of time on the interweb.  A troll is basically just a person who either says mean, rude, hateful things or just spams.  Take my word, if you've never seen or experienced a troll, they're irritating.

Now, I've been thankful to not have encountered a troll, -knocks on wood-, but I see them all over the place.  I spend a fair amount of time on YouTube and when I get extremely bored I'll read through comments on some videos.  Invariably there is usually always a troll.

I don't see why people can't just be nice to others, I mean, if you're going to be rude, mean and hateful about something or someone, just don't do it.  It's such a simple concept that so many trollz just can't grasp.

Well, that was my ranting blog for the month. Glad we got that out of the way, though I'm sure that trollz will still irritate me greatly, because obviously someone thinks it okay to do it. -head desk-

you can do it

My parents might think that my Youtube obsession is getting slightly out of hand when I sit in my room and watch random videos, but I think, especially after today, that I'm actually benefiting from it, and it's helping me slightly become a better person.  Or at least it's making me think a lot about things that pertain to my life around me.

I just recently watched a Youtube video by Alex Day (also known as Nerimon on Youtube) titled: Life Challenges.

This video is one of several he had posted over several days in a short series of videos from when he was in Zambia with World Vision.  The videos opened my eyes a bit about Zambia and third world countries in general.

Towards the end of the video, Alex talks about how the people of the communities he had the experience to be around, and how they take their problems in life as challenges.  This particular statement made me really think. And I mean, turning my computer off for a few minutes, staring at the wall and think.  I would have done my typical debate/extemp pace if my hip wasn't bothering at the time.  I mean, I hardcore, genuinely thought about this.

I know for a fact that my life isn't perfect, but it's definitely not the worst either.  I've always thought that there is always another person out there worse off than you.  Think about it; think about everything that could possibly be wrong in your life.  For example, I had to have my hip replaced over a month ago at the age of seventeen, I've basically spent my entire life up until now disabled, and I'll be disabled for the rest of my life to a certain extent.  Home life really isn't all that great either, there are a lot of issues that come up consistently and it takes a lot out of me.  Another point, I've never really gotten to know my brother as well as I'd like, being fifteen years apart makes things difficult, he was in the military for a while and now he's married with kids and lives in another state.  Those are probably what I would have dubbed the worst things in my life up until about a couple of months ago.

But there is someone out there, with no home, no family, no food.  There's someone out there that is struggling to stay alive.  I've been extremely grateful the last couple of months for the things that I've got and the support I have, but thinking about this in a new way has made me even that much more grateful.

Looking at life problems as challenges is an interesting and quite positive way to get through the struggles that we may have from a day to day basis to even long term things.

I guess I've already thought about life this way in a certain extent, but I hadn't really explored the idea.  I've spent most of my childhood up until the time I started high school, just trying to fit in.  It was difficult to me though because while all the other kids were playing sports competitively I was usually always the one cheering from the sidelines.  There were things I couldn't do because I had certain limitations with my hip disability and it frustrated me so much.

When I started high school, it's cliché to say, but I felt I had a new start.  I was still with the same kids I had known for over eight years already, but I felt it was time to let go and challenge myself, not just sit back and not try.  My mom had signed me up for general weight lifting instead of the normal coed physical education class because she knew that the PE class would involve a lot of running, and I could barely maintain a jog for a small amount of time before I either grew tired or began to hurt in my hip or other parts of my leg.  Even within the weight lifting class, after speaking with my coach, whom was very understanding about my disability, had told me that I could do the bare minimum and would still pass the class.  He wasn't just giving me an A, but told me that if I worked hard and did what I was supposed to I could pass.

I challenged myself then.  I had made a subconscious goal every day then on that I would attempt to progress in some way in the class.  By the end of the semester coach was rather surprised but quite pleased with how far I had excelled.

It hasn't really been up until the last couple of months that I've really felt rejuvenated so to speak to challenge myself and excel.  Beginning of January, I decided to go back to school without my wheelchair that I had been using for over a month because I could barely get out of bed at times because my hip hurt so badly.  I don't know how I managed it, but I did manage to go the entire week without my wheelchair.  It felt good to know that I could put my mind to something like that and overcome it.  Though, it was definitely not an easy task.

We had been scheduled for an appointment in St. Louis, Missouri at Shriner's Hospital for Children where I had several years previous had hip surgery done; they were to give us the second opinion on a hip replacement.  I was extremely nervous about going, because things were annoyingly unclear and indefinite.  We had no idea what exactly would happen while we were there.  Long story short, we basically had a fit with the "head" surgeon there, and scheduled and appointment with my surgeon here at home, where we later scheduled my hip replacement for February 14th.

The following week, I was taken out of my high school officially and put on an online course.  When surgery finally rolled around, oddly enough I wasn't nervous at all to go in, but was actually quite happy.  It says a lot when a teenager has to undergo such a major operation and is truly happy about it.

I remember the day that I came home from the hospital on the third day after surgery.  It was probably the only moment I really remember through all of the pain medicines they had me on that week.  At the hospital they taught me a certain way to go up and down stairs with my walker.  Unfortunate for us, the walker and the stairs are quite different and the technique didn't work. At all.  I had gotten up on the first step, and then I struggled with the rest of the stairs with my mom pulling me up by the arm.  On the last step I told my mom that it was all a mistake.  I shouldn't have had the surgery and I should have just lived with it.  That it wasn't worth it.

She told me that I didn't know what I was talking about, that it would gradually get better from then on, but I didn't believe her.  The week following that was quite a tough one; I was progressing though I didn't see it myself.

Come to the one month anniversary of my surgery, I really noticed how well I was doing.  I had begun to challenge myself after I had gotten home.  I knew that sitting around and doing nothing would help absolutely nothing.  There are times now, when I don't even realize I'm challenging myself.  For example, last week I was cleaning my room, and I flopped down on the floor and crawled under my bed, not even thinking about it for a second.  I got up perfectly fine.

I know this blog is getting rather long, and probably boring, but I seriously think there is a point here.

I think if we challenge ourselves, similar to what Alex described in his video about the people he met in Zambia, then we can overcome and achieve anything we want in life.  It seems a bit ridiculous at first when you think about it, but you have to break it down into mini challenges almost, and work through them one by one.


If you want to check out the World Vision Vloggers, just head on over here.

And to learn more about World Vision and how you can sponsor a child or help donate around the world, head on over here.

Each person has a story to share, and everyone can learn something from someone; even if it's the tiniest thing.