BEDA 10: omfg, it's hoodie wearing type weather

Last night, after I stayed up past midnight coloring random coloring pages I printed off of the internet, I went to bed with my joints hurting...again.  Normally, when there's a chance of rain my left knee hurts, but last night, all of my joints were hurting.  My knees, ankles, shoulders, back, hip(s) sometimes I feel like my right hip (the prothsetic one) hurts like my left one when it comes to arthritic pain...I knew between my arthritic rain prediction method and the weather reports, that it was going to finally rain big time last night.

And that it did.  It's been raining for nearly twelve hours straight now with little breaks here and there.  But let me tell you, it's so nice to finally have a good rain.  Just a bit ago, I was watching the noon news on a local television station and they too were surprised when the temperature gauge said 69 degrees.  I knew it was kind of cold out today, or at least compared to our normal triple digit days, but this basically calls for wearing a hoodie.

I actually haven't been outside yet today, but I can predict it's pretty nice out there, compared to our normal weather this summer, I bet it feels like were in a different country or something. I actually kind of want to go on a walk around the neighborhood and soak in some of this rare nice weather. Oh and speaking of walking, I ordered something online for the first time ever on Sunday, a really nice inexpensive pedometer.  It should be arriving tomorrow in the mail and I'm pretty freaking excited.

Anyway...this BEDA post sounded like an awkward first date, didn't it? Oh well, I deal with awkward pretty well, it only gets awkward if you make it awkward.

Today is awesome because: obviously my answer is because it's been/still raining.

days until senior year starts: 6
days until I become an adult: 149
days until graduation: 282

BEDA 9: mainstream music

Nine times out of ten, if you're with me when I'm in my car I have my i-pod plugged into my stereo.  I've come to a conclusion this summer that I seriously have an issue with mainstream music.  I've been thinking about my dislikes for main stream music for a few months now, but it has become extremely evident this summer, especially the last couple of weeks.

My biggest problem with mainstream music is pretty simple.  Repeating the same twenty songs over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over get my drift? again.  I don't know if it's just the local stations around here that do it or if it happens every where else, but it really gets on my nerves.  I don't know how many times in the last two weeks I've heard Super Bass by Nicki Minaj and though I kind of like the song, I really don't care to listen to it thirty times in one day.

I feel like main stream music is just the same artists all. the. time. Most of my music comes from artists that I've found of YouTube. And I have to admit, that on a whole, YouTuber artists are by far a lot better than the artists I've been hearing on the radio around here.  I think another part of why I like YouTuber artists more is the fact that you can tell that music is truly their passion and that they care for their fans.  Yeah it's probably rough being a YouTuber artist some times, but they have the passion for what they do that keeps them going, and that in itself is really inspiring.  If you can continue to do something you love even when you're not the richest person around or have everything in the entire world and still feel such much emotion about you do, you're a genuine artist. 

Now with this being said, I'm not hating on all the popular artists out there who we can hear any time on the radio.  They all bring something to the world of music, but sometimes I can't help but think "They're in it only for the money and fame."  I mean, it's just how I think about it.  Does anyone else share the same feelings, or other thoughts? I'd love to hear them.

days until graduation: 283

BEDA 8: bucket list, part one

Since nothing remotely exciting happened today, I thought I'd share some items from my bucket list and kind of explain them a bit.

• learn how to swim: I once knew how to swim, it was quite a long time ago.  But when things went down hill when I was eight with my hip, I just couldn't swim because my hip and muscles surrounding my hip wouldn't allow it.  But now, after having my hip replaced, I want to learn how to swim because A) it's a good physical therapy tool and B) I have this weird phobia of water.  I have no problem getting into the lake, as long as my feet can touch and my head still be above water.  Same goes for pools.  I for the first time in June got into a paddle boat with my best friends, I did it because I wanted to fish, and because I needed to conquer the fear that I felt I was going to get tipped over and drown. It's quite hard to explain, but I just really want to learn how to swim so I can conquer this weird phobia and enjoy life even more.
• learn how to ride a bike: this one is actually in progress, my best friend who conveniently lives right down the street, started teaching me how to ride a bike earlier this summer.  I have full faith that I can do it, it's just my hip muscles aren't used to the motions and my balance is still quite off since surgery.  I can't even remember exactly for sure or not if I could ride a bike...
• travel through/to all 50 states in the U.S.: I seriously love this country so terribly much.  Besides enjoying to travel, I want to be able to see all of our country in it's righteous state.  It's just not the same looking at photos or videos of places then actually being there yourself in person and seeing it for yourself.
• be a published author: I don't think I'll ever really have a career in life as an author, but with my love of history, it'd be really neat to have just one book published of mine that I could feel proud of.  Even if it's one of those books that teachers assign to students and they end up hating every last page of it.  I think it'd be rather interesting to see the process behind it all.
• compete in a fishing tournament: I love to watch fishing tournaments, because I love fishing, obviously.  And I'd love to give a tournament a go, but only once I really learn some more of the sport. I do it just for fun, not as an actual sport.  It's just something I've always wanted to do, and something that wouldn't take any protests from any of my family.

I've never actually sat down and add on things to my bucket list...because I don't have a written copy of it.  It's all basically in my head.  And there's plenty more to the list, maybe to share another BEDA day when nothing exciting has happened.

Until tomorrow.

days until graduation: 284

BEDA 7: gone fishing

Yesterday I woke up extremely early in order to get to the lake at a decent time and fish while it was still somewhat tolerable since the weather on average here as been in the triple digits basically the entire freaking summer, but of course, we got rained out.  So we decided to try again today, and as I was hopeful for, it worked out.

We ate a super early breakfast of biscuits and gravy with scrambled eggs before we loaded up in my dad's truck and headed out to Winfield lake.  It was actually the first time I had been to Winfield lake despite living so close to it for all these years.  My dad was trying to take us to a special part of the lake and at one point he realized that he still had to drive around the majority of the lake to get there and we had already been driving for roughly twenty minutes, though it seemed longer than that due to the fact we were facing the rising sun and couldn't see the winding dirt road the majority of the time so we had to stop and stick our heads out of the truck to figure out where exactly we were driving.

We ended up on one of three docks near the boat ramps.  It was a bit sketchy to begin with because although the dock looked really sturdy there were quite a few waves and when you've got both hands full with fishing poles, tackle and bait leaving you stranded with no way to hold onto the railing, PLUS having poor balance (still regaining my balance since I had my hip replacement) it seemed awful sketchy to me.  Eventually though I got down the incline of the dock ramp and was down on the actual dock that was floating.  This particular dock was the only one that had safety bars around it, which I was quite thankful for because I hate docks to begin with because of how they rock in the water, and I've always feared that I was loose my balance and step off into the water, and when you don't know how to swim, it's a really scary thought.

I didn't waste a moment before I got my fishing pole all ready and casted it out.  I was doing quite fine until I was reeling in my line after it had moved off course and towards the bank...and it got hung up in the rocks.  It had already happened to me a few times before this, and I'm pretty much a master at unhooking lines from things but I tried for a good five to ten minutes and couldn't get the line to come free. So I was left with my only last hope. Just to cut the line and start fresh.  So I cut the line, something I hate to do, especially since it was a brand spanking new lure I had put on my pole and I had only fished with it once before today.

I put new tackle on and casted out again.  At this time, my dad went up to pay our day fee for the lake, since no one was in the office when we got there. He left me with both of our poles in the water, obviously he felt comfortable letting me watch after his very expensive fishing pole that even though he doesn't particularly care for because it's an open faced reel, he trusted me with it. I mean, I would hope so considering he's been taking me fishing since I was five.  Everything was going just fine until I saw his pole start moving, and thankfully then I had my line in and I threw my pole down on the dock and grabbed my dad's pole.  I got excited over a fish that was just playing with me and nibbling the worm off the hook slowly.

I casted out my dad's pole again, and deciding it wasn't a good cast I went to reel it in, but of course, it got hung up on those damn rocks.  So I stood there, on the dock, looking like a fool in front of the people putting their boats in as I tried with all my might to unhook the line.  Eventually when my dad made it back down to the dock I handed the pole over to him so he could try and get it loose.  He eventually had to cut the line as well.

Nothing much happened for a couple of hours after that. My dad and I just sat there on the dock watching our poles and listening to the boaters put their boats into the water and watch them as they took off across the lake.  I have to admit I was super jealous of them, I miss going boating, though I've never really gone boating often, I enjoy a nice boat ride every once in a while at the lake.  It was nice to just sit there on the dock with it moving on top of the water, it was rather soothing.  And the thing I love about fishing is that it calms me and basically de-stresses me.  And I definitely needed that.

Eventually though, I had to get up and go walk around up on the shore for a bit and stretch my hip muscles so I pulled my line in.  By this time, my dad had forcefully put a bobber on my line (I'm 17 and I still can't chose what I want to fish with. *pouts*), I leaned my pole against railing so I could stand up. I hadn't really realized that my worm was still in the water and what do you know, I started getting a tug at the end of my pole. I pulled it up slowly and then put it back down and it happened again. Pulled it up once more and put it back down, another tug, pulled it up and the worm was gone. No fish to be found.

Needless to say I was a bit mad because I A) lost a worm and B) didn't get the fish.  So after I went and walked around for a bit I came back to the dock and baited up again, something my dad hadn't really seen me do EVER. I mean, it took me about 15 years to bait my own hook, but he hadn't seen me do it until today and he was kind of shocked but yet so proud of both me and him.  We decided that the best bet we had was to try and catch perch.

So there we were, sitting on opposite ends of the dock with our lines barely over the side of the dock waiting for a perch to get our worm.  I eventually caught a perch.  It was on the small side though so we tossed him back.  And as upsetting as I am to still admit it, that was the only thing we caught today.  But it's okay, because like I said fishing calms me.  And even if I don't catch anything, just the act of fishing is soothing.  So I was alright with the one tiny perch that I caught.

BEDA 6: weird day

Today was such a weird day.  I got up at 4:30 so I could head to the lake with my dad and go fishing while it was still some what cool, only to get woken up to lightening and my joints hurting which obviously meant it was raining.  Though I guess, since I hadn't even bother to look outside, it was actually pouring.  Which don't get me wrong, as badly as I wanted to go fishing I could deal with a nice torrential down pour considering how dry our spring and summer has been. We needed it.  Mom was still nice enough to make us cinnamon rolls, so once dad got here we chowed down like we were getting ready to head out for a long day of fishing.  Two hours later I went back to bed and slept for what seemed like forever.

My mom woke me up once again about one in the afternoon and asked me if I wanted to go with my dad to Wichita to Gander Mountain.  I didn't know why we were going to Gander in the first place but I agreed since I hadn't been in this summer I wanted to see what new stocks they had and to see if I could find that turkey shot gun I had found a couple of years ago, though I'm positive I may never find it again...I eventually got up and showered and went to pick my dad up at four.

The trip to Wichita was tense but uneventful, unless you count too much road construction.  Wichita has always had major construction somewhere in the city and we always end up getting stuck in it wherever we go.  In at Gander, I didn't really find anything that caught my eye except for a man that looked strangely similar to my brother, except he was extremely rude, and a nice chair that I would have sat in for the rest of my life if my dad hadn't ushered me back to the hunting section of the store.

The thing about Gander is I usually find all this stuff that I really like but it's so freaking expensive. I've gotten to the point where I don't even bother asking for anything from Gander because I know the answer will be no and that I don't have enough money to purchase it from my own bank account.  The price of ammunition has sky rocketed even over the last few months, I know it was expensive before but now it's just outrageous.  A box of ammo for my .22 that I was looking at was $54.00, I nearly had a heart attack on the spot. Needless to say we usually only go to Gander to drool every once in a while and left empty handed. Side note, I wore one of my Bass Pro Shops shirt into Gander, I felt like a beast.


And then, of course, I got a random text message from Jake, someone on the debate team, telling me a bunch of the team was getting together to work on debate stuff and just hang out as a team.  So after I got home and then went back out to do a couple errands for my mom I went to Jake's.  Ended up, since I arrived a bit later than everyone else, that we were just watching Star Wars and talking about random things, some of it pertained to debate but most of it didn't.  It was fun, I love being around my debate team, it's always a good time.

Came home early per request of my mom, which I was okay with because my joints were starting to hurt again.  I really hope it starts to rain again, so I can sleep peacefully tonight, but I want it to stop in time for dad and I to go fishing tomorrow.

And I just now realized, that after writing all this I haven't explained why I thought to day was so weird.  I just felt like I did a bunch of random things that was productive but yet I slept nearly all day...

BEDA 5: five long hours

About 2:30 this afternoon my internet went all weird on me.  Now this isn't anything new; every once in a while I have to mess with my internet connection and then it goes back to normal and life goes on.  This afternoon though, I messed with every button I knew that would normally fix it...and then one I shouldn't have pressed.  I don't know how I manged to do it, but I managed to disconnect all possible ways to connect my laptop to the internet.  I was literally freaking out to the point where I wasn't even cursing but just banging my hands on my desk, I was basically in a speechless fury.

My mom came home at a bit after three and after she listened to me rant and rave about my laptop and the internet being stupid again she told me that the Mulvane area of Cox communications was completely out.  She only knew this because of the nursing home she works at was completely phone-less AND internet-less.  I was relieved that it was an area thing not just my laptop that was down.

But I still had the problem of accidentally hitting that button I should have just left alone because I didn't know the function of it to deal with.  After spending a good thirty minutes or so messing around, if figured out how to reset my computer systems back a few days which I hoped would also reset the button I pressed *guilty eyes* and thankfully it did.

My dad came in for dinner with mom and I and we had a good time joking and laughing.  And I successfully got dad to take me fishing tomorrow morning.  So overall I think it was a good evening with my parents.  I was sent out to go get worms since we're leaving at 5:30 in the morning to get to the lake before sunrise so we can fish when it's not nearly as hot as out as it would be if we went any later.

It's amazing when the only thing I was holding was my little box of worms and three different people asked me if I was going fishing.  I smiled and told them we were going in the morning bright and early, though I really wanted to say something along the lines of "Nah, I just buy worms for fun." *head desk* I don't know why people think it's odd that a teenage girl goes to buy worms that means she's going fishing, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

Anyway, thankfully, by the time I finally got back home from getting worms, the Cox communications system was back up.  I only knew this because my mom was back on her laptop after she had abandoned it earlier because she couldn't play her FaceBook games.

Out of my busy day the thing I was most worried about was not being able to make my BEDA post...and now I can rest easy for the rest of the night and sleep well tonight knowing that I've survived day 5 of BEDA.

BEDA 4: eleven days to go

There's eleven days left until school starts, and it's really starting to sink in.  Between going to enroll today at school and actually getting my time table that looks okay for the most part and organizing my school supplies in accordance to said time table, it has definitely started to hit me that school is starting again.  Whether or not I fully comprehend that it's senior year, I'm not for sure. I'm sure I'll still forget that I'm a senior through most of the school year, I mean, I still feel like a freshman half the time though I have absolutely no idea...

At the beginning of every school year I get crazy organized. Everything has it's place and it's use and that's that.  Two weeks into school it eventually goes from "neatly organized" to "messy, chaotic organized" which usually involves my locker and school bag to be a total mess. I'm hoping this year though I'll actually keep to an organizational system since I'm taking several classes that I can't afford to muck up in or I just won't graduate, and that's something I want to avoid doing at all costs.

I decided this morning what to do about my big girl decision regarding my history and forensics classes.  I decided that since I can work on and still be apart of the forensics team from outside of the class I decided to give it up for my history course.  I did this mostly because I know I won't be able to keep up with a full school day and have that extra class to worry about.

Eleven days till school starts also means that I need to figure out if my alarms will actually work well enough to get me up on time or not.  I've been having a hard time getting my normal alarm clock to work and on top of that, my phone alarm won't work when I need it. It's been really frustrating me since I've been attempting to get up at six every morning like I'll have to do when school starts.

I feel like there's several more things to do before these eleven days are up, but there really isn't.  All I really need to do is get some stuff sorted out for the fall musical so I won't have to worry about it once school starts, but that's a whole other story considering the flash drive I swore it was located on is no where to be found after I went every single folder on that damn thing.  I worked really hard on that thing, and I'll be completely honest in saying that if I don't find it, I'm not going to bother. Although, eventually I will redo the entire thing just for the purpose of I always have to be organized when it comes to costume and make-up designing...


Well, there you go, another random blog post that was basically just me babbling on about school.

BEDA 3: big girl decisions

Tomorrow I get to meet my mom at school to enroll for my senior year of high school.  And let me tell you I'm extremely excited, I've been waiting to be a senior for nearly four years now and it's finally MY time.  I'm ready to get to finally start making decisions that will ultimately end up affecting my future because up until now it has always seemed that there's that one thing or someone who is holding me back from really going for what my heart and gut are telling me to do.

My mom just came home on her lunch break and before she left she came into my room and sat on my bed.  She told me that one of the school counselors, the one that I worked a lot with last year when we were trying to figure out my schooling situation when I had my hip replaced second semester; she said she had an enjoyable conversation with her.

When I found out that this school counselor had called my mom this morning, I was surprised, because I thought she would have been really busy with day one of enrollment being today.  I knew though once my mom told me she had called that this couldn't be good.

Mom started with telling me that she was just making sure that I would be back at the school for sure this year, yadayadayada.  She had asked my mom if I was ready to go back to school, yadayadayada.  Then she told my mom that I had to either finish my history class online that I didn't finish from last semester, before Thanksgiving (our fall holiday basically) or I had to give up forensics second semester so I could take both the English III class I need and American Studies.

WHAT?!

And of course, my mom is leaving it completely up to me to decide, she didn't even give me her opinion when I asked, she just told me it's my choice.  I mean, one side, I prefer to take the American Studies class at the school then finish it online, just for the fact that it's better in basically ALL aspects and I prefer to learn, especially when it comes to history, by lectures, not reading a never ending assignment that doesn't even go chronologically on the computer.  Then there's the fact that I've been really involved with our NFL (National Forensics League) chapter and I'm really excited for the forensics season this year because last year I didn't get to compete because I had my hip replaced.  And though I'm sure my coach will allow me to participate from outside of class, it just makes things easier if I were in the class.  But obviously, I have to chose one or the other.

As for right now, I don't know what I want to do. I think I might need to sleep on it tonight and see how I feel about it tomorrow, because honestly, there's pros and cons to both sides of this.  I'm sure though, whatever I do decide to do that I'll be fine with it, because honestly, I just want to get through senior year and graduate. That's my goal.  And I know it'll all work itself out eventually.

BEDA 2: of car dancing, airports and ice cream

This evening I hadn't really planned on anything but just cleaning my room and having dinner with my mom, a typical evening. But me being me, I went and found something spontaneous to do with my friends that just happened to be going to Wichita to the airport to pick up one of our friends that has been in Florida for the entire summer.  My mom wasn't pleased about this plan when I only gave her less than a hour's notice that I was going to Wichita with my friends. I don't think she would have been irritated with it if I hadn't been randomly roped into going to Wichita yesterday with my best friend to the mall and then proceeded to hang out with him all evening until ten.  She got it over it though and let me go, it seems like she understands that summer is coming to an end, and that I've spent most of it at home, doing nothing relatively productive.

Anyway, so my friends came and picked me up and we headed to Wichita. The scariest part about this little adventure we went on was the fact that nearly EVERYONE knows that I'm horrible with directions...and I managed to get us to the airport with absolutely no problems. Let me tell you, I feel extremely accomplished and probably a little too proud of myself.  I mean, considering I was sitting in the backseat dancing the entire time, I'm surprised we ended up in the right place.

The last time I was at the airport, was I want to say about six years ago when we went to pick my brother up when he first got to come after he got back from Iraq.  So I wasn't sure what to expect out of the airport, especially considering there were so many freaking orange construction cones and signs that kept getting in our way.  But really, once we got inside it didn't look like a single thing changed. Except maybe they have better carpet then I remember, but that's not the point.

The most uncertain thing of the evening was we had absolutely no idea what flight our friend Kayla was on, so we didn't really know how long we were going to be waiting for.  But it was alright, between people watching and joking around with my three other friends it was a good wait for Kayla's plane to land.  I kept talking about how much I wanted to go through airport security just to see what my hip implant does to the metal detectors.  I mean, it's not completely metal, but I bet at least 3/4 of it is and it's bound to set of the metal detectors.  But we all decided I wouldn't try it today because even though I had all the appriate cards to hand over they were busier than normal and I didn't want to get in trouble for not having a ticket and trying to get through.

Eventually though, we figured out Kayla's plane was the one coming from Houston and it was a joyous event when we saw her coming down the hall past security.  I'm most positive that EVERYONE who was waiting for people off of the Houston plane was staring at us because, let's be honest, my friends and I are nerds and don't mind being crazy in public.

Kayla was hungry so we decided to go to McDonalds down the road from the airport so she could eat and the rest of us could have ice cream, though I opted out of actually getting ice cream because I had too much of it last night.  We get to McDonalds and it was busy and of course, there was even more construction going on there, so we just ended up at Wendy's across the street instead where we just sat around and hung out talking about our summers and listening to Kayla's adventures in Florida.

Eventually though, as fun it was, we had to head home and we piled back into the car and then the pressure was on me again to get us back to town and not get lost.  I successfully did my job once again, though with less dancing.

Sitting at the airport with my friends really made me think about that itch I have about traveling when I get into college.  I told my friend Rachel while we were people watching that I wanted to go to the desk and tell me to put me on the cheapest flight out of Kansas just to go some where and have an adventure.  But considering I had only a pair of sunglasses, no money and my wallet full of my identification cards for my hip, I decided I wouldn't do it...plus I don't think they would have allowed it considering I'm still seventeen.  But it was a good thought, I can't wait for the day when I can take an adventure some where without any plans what so ever and just see where God takes me.

BEDA 1: august already?

It's nearing 11 in the evening as I'm writing this, and if it hadn't been for the thought of checking my YouTube subscriptions to see what was new since I was out all evening, I wouldn't have seen a VEDA video which in turn wouldn't have reminded me that it is in fact the first of August which means it's BEDA time.

Honestly, I'm still trying to grasp that fact that it's already AUGUST. It seems like it should be the start of June, not August.  I mean, I go to enroll for senior year of high school on Thursday and I start school in like two weeks.  It's completely nuts for me to understand right now though I don't understand why.

I'm actually really really REALLY looking forward to school this year.  Partially because it's senior year and I'm ready for the next steps in my life, even if it means that I'm officially becoming an adult and having to make big important decisions on my own, I'm ready for it; and I'm ready for school in general.  I actually really enjoy going to school, I love to learn new things, I think that's why I do so well in school (if only I did my homework more often) because I enjoy learning and I don't try to fight the process like other kids might.

Out of all the things this next school year offer, I'm especially excited about the upcoming debate season.  Mainly because in debate I'm always learning something new whether it's from a new evidence card that I find, or if it's from hearing other people's arguments, I seem to also be absorbing things; though unfortunately sometimes I don't remember half the things because there's so much to it.  Debate holds a really special place in my heart, and it's not just because I get to argue without getting in trouble, it's because with debate you really have to work at it.  It's not something that comes naturally to everyone when they first try it.  There's a lot of things that make up debate that you've got to understand before you can even debate, and you usually don't understand any of it until you're stuck in the middle of a debate round and you've got to use it.  Then it all makes sense and it all clicks.  Debate really makes your brain work, and I really think it teaches you a lot of skills that you have to teach yourself.

Anyway, after all that talk about me not understanding how it's August already, talk about school and of debate, I just want to give you a small run down about BEDA. If you don't know what BEDA is it stands for Blog Every Day August (or April, but in this case it's August).  Basically, it's exactly what it sounds like, you blog every day of the month.  I'm not going to try and be one of those people who plans out their blog posts for BEDA because I KNOW without a doubt that once school starts I won't stick to it.  So you're probably going to end up reading a lot of random things throughout this month, and I hope you stick along for the ride.