It was like a ritual that senior cast bonding night always went over time, even if we added an extra hour to the sit down, we always ran late. I prayed to myself as I ran backstage through the dark alongside of other cast members and crew rushing to get props, finish costumes or get shift ready that all would go well and no one would get hurt, but to also enjoy what could possibly be my last time performing on my high school stage. With less than five minutes until the overture started my praying time with God was rushed and cut short.
Standing behind the main traveler curtain, I took in several deep breaths, gave our stage manager Rose a hug told her thanks and that I loved her and waited a few more seconds before I headed on stage as a cranky old woman selling flowers. Although I barely got any stage time as the cranky old woman, and I mean barely any time as in all I was supposed to do was walk right across the stage, I fell in love with the character that I had made myself become. Before I knew it, my short time on stage as the cranky old woman was over with and I hurried to get rid of my props and begin my quick change into an older crapshooter.
I remember back when we had first done our very first full run straight through from the beginning of Act I to the ending of Act II, it seemed like forever between all of my scenes, and that I wasn't getting very much stage time. It was apparent though on Saturday night that that was all false.
Every show I seemed to over work myself in one way or another, physically or emotionally seemed to be one of the options. It seemed that it took me only four years how to handle myself in both of those ways to make the best of the show. Because of over working myself in the past, I never really appreciated the friends I had come to make with fellow cast members or the tech crew. As I sat backstage, uncomfortable in the foreign male attire of a suit with a tie that felt like it was constantly going to choke me even after I messed with it countless times that I realized what I was doing wrong.
During cast bonding, I addressed several people who I had become extremely close with over the last year or two, and gave my thanks for everyone supporting me when I was having major hip pain. Towards the end though, I began crying with a wave of emotions that hit me so hard and so fast I didn't know what to do except end my speech and pat my tears off my face hoping I didn't take any stage makeup off with it. There's was no way that I could address every single person that held me up over the course of the show. Even when someone smiled at me, or asked me how I was doing, it always seemed to lighten my mood.
Sitting backstage, I confronted those people and told them how thankful I was for them and how proud of them I was. At the end of the night, it wasn't about how much stage time I didn't have, or how uncomfortable my costume was; I was thankful for my friends, my family.
It's cliche, I know, but theatre is my family. And I never really truly experienced that feeling until this year. We're a large, loud, energetic, dysfunctional and weird group of kids, but we're a family. We all have had our ups and downs with each other and with the show, but we all pitch in together and we somehow manage to work through things and stick it out together. We can lean on each other for anything; there is absolutely no doubt about it, theatre IS my family.
I don't know how the rest of my senior year will go, but one thing is for sure, Guys and Dolls has changed my perspective on many things and I'm going to miss my theatre family so incredibly much next year.
days until I become an adult: 38
days until graduation: 170
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