cold fronts

I left early from the wrestling meet, way earlier than I expected actually. I thought there for a bit that I was going to cry from my joints hurting so much as I sat there and cheered on my fellow seniors.  It's amazing how my joints can always correlate with the weather pretty well, so well actually that I'm surprised that I listen to the morning weather report every morning on the way to school.

It discourages me sometimes, having arthritis in most of my joints.  I usually go to bed praying to God that the next day will have minimal pain, or at least enough patience to get through whatever pain I might have.  Throughout the day it's usually hit or miss; depending all on the weather and what we do in class. If we take notes I usually end up with my hands and wrists hurting an extra amount; sitting for 50 minutes straight from 7:45 to 2:10 with only five minute breaks between classes and a lunch that isn't long enough is no where near the amount of time I need to "walk it all out".

There have been times where I end up staying home from school because my arthritis is so bad I feel like I can't do anything but curl up and attempt to relieve the pain.  There have been a few occasions where I've not gone out with friends for fear that I might have a bad spell and don't want to ruin what we're doing.

It's hard for me. And what hurts the most is the feeling that I know none of my friends know it's like for me.  I struggle to get out of bed in the morning, some mornings I spend too long in the shower just because the hot water helps relieve pain.  Most of them don't understand that when I say I've had enough of walking or whatever we might be doing, isn't because I'm tired, it's because I can't handle my joints hurting any more.  I always cringe when I hear someone say that something hurts that is usually temporary and will be gone by the end of the day; I feel some form of pain every day and I push through it somehow with God's help.

Link of the day: That's What She Said I love Kathy's blog, it's got a bit of everything in it, including an adorable dog named Stig!

days until I become an adult: 2
days until Valentine's Day: 40
days until graduation: 134